- h0ney’s world of wordz -

it was christmas yesterday.. and we had fun at genting. well, it wasn’t as fun as expected.. but.. as long as i could spend the christmas with my loved one, i already would feel very very satisfied. =) but, just before we left genting, i shed my tears in front of him… (sigh, what a shame..) i just couldn’t control myself, cos i was too sad that the sweet moment of us would be over soon and also, the holiday would be over.. i’ll have to start my school again, spend most of my time studying again, and cannot see him that often anymore.. (as he has graduated from the college, so we cant meet as often as before anymore).. i’ll start feeling sad whenever i think of next year. i dun wanna face the stress of STPM and the sadness of being separated with him. well, we are still together of course, im just sad that we cannot meet that often anymore.

my family and I are moving to the new house tomorrow. but i haven’t packed anything.. cos im feeling really really exhausted. i had been sleeping for 24 hours yesterday after coming back from genting. every part of my body is in pain. =( sigh…

after 3 weeks of separation with him, i got to meet him finally.. im glad that we’re still fine. we’re good like before. this shows / proves something: when we dun meet each other for a long time, our relationship will become bad; when we meet, everything will become fine and normal. sigh… without seeing him for only 3 weeks could make me go crazy already… i wonder what would happen if we were to separate for a month or 2 months or longer.. =\

christmas is coming.. he had bought me a nice anklet, which i wished to get for my christmas. =) but.. i still haven’t bought him anything.. i really hope i can get him something he wants for this christmas. anyway, im wishing everyone a very very Joyable & Cheerful christmas, and a hapPieee nEw yeaR 2007!

(thanks to those who are concerned about me.. i really appreciate ur care… anyway, dun worry about me. im okay and fine now.. =) )

yes.. im feeling very down. nobody can be my good listener, that’s why im here to write my blog again.

i’ve been crying for whole night yesterday. actually, i cried from yesterday night until today morning. he cannot understand me.. as im taking the medicine everyday now, i dun feel good EVERYDAY. my whole body, especially my stomach and my breasts suffer from pain. he is supposed to understand my situation and care me more at this moment, but not getting angry and talk so badly to me! i was having a bad stomach ache yesterday night.. crying, holding my stomach and struggling on the bed in the middle of the night, i sms him for 4 times, i needed him so much. but i saw no reply from him. when i needed him most, he was never there for me. at 4am when i was already asleep, he replied me a cold + short sms. i was extremely disappointed to receive such reply from him…. i felt so so so depressed.

i dunno why but since i’ve started taking the medicine (or maybe because i am not able see him during this holiday), my temper becomes bad. i get mad at him almost everyday. we almost quarrel everyday. and slowly, our relationship becomes worse… we never talk nicely to each other now.  im really tired… i’ve tried so so hard to keep this relationship good. i tried to talk properly to him just now.. and hope to settle the problems. but his response was not good at all!!! he seemed to not understand what i said!! oh god, what can i do now???? i’ve done what i should do.  i can feel the pain in my heart now. somebody’s like keep stabbing my heart with a sharp knife.. can he heal my broken heart? i need some comfort and care from him.. but why does it seem like it’s impossible for me to get them from him? gosh.. i cry whenever i read his msg now. i dun wanna read his msg anymore.. the words he type are hurting me.. my eyes are heavy and im already tired of crying… sigh.. hope we can be as good as before.