- h0ney’s world of wordz -

wow, it’s been a long long long time since i last created a blog. some of my friends have been asking me why there’s no any updates of my blogs. hmm… first reason is I hardly have time to online, let alone writing blog! why? cos of STPM of course! STPM makes me go crazy. well, the second reason why I dun write blog is because I found that writing blogs may cause some misunderstandings between ppl and I. I definitely dun like the feeling to be misunderstood. and even because of writing blog, the relationship between some people and I had been broken. yes, I’m telling the truth.

well, for all these while, I’ve been busy studying, doing revision, doing homework and reading. 90% of my time is spent on books. even when I sleep at night, I dream of chemistry, physics theories, maths formulae, etc etc… gosh, it drives me crazy! for your information, I just completed my STPM trial. I realised that STPM is so so so so so so so so so much different from any other exams like PMR and SPM. Just in one-week time of STPM trial exam, I collapsed twice. I cried on the halfway of revision. why? cos of too much stress. I even threw my textbook and everything on the floor, and then tears bursting out when I was reading. I couldn’t stand it, I wanted so much to give up. you know what, i realised that i myself has changed so much after I started taking STPM. changed like how? I’ve been changed from the happy me to the depressed me. even my mum has always been claiming that I’ve changed. Now, I don’t like to talk and even laugh. I just tend to be as quiet as I can. even when I’m with him, I dun talk much. Instead, I keep quiet and get mad at him easily. but, thankfully that he tolerates me. well, in another 1 month time, the actual STPM will come. do I have to ability to face it? can I overcome my mental stress? can I fight with it and will I win? Please give me the strength to carry on. I have to win.